I remember when my friend's mother passed away, she was very sad and depressed. I couldn't understand her feelings, I tried to comfort her in the best way I could. Now looking back, my words probably didn't comfort her much. I realise what it means to really being able to comfort someone... is to "have been there" and share the same kind of pain the other person is feeling. It's so much easier to share happiness because everyone likes happiness. Everyone is willing to share your happiness. Everyone can find a way to relate to happiness. Yet, the burden of sadness, that's a different story. Even the closest person to you may not be able to share your burden of sadness. Not because that person doesn't want to share with you your sadness, it is his/ her ability to understand and relate that make them incapable. Who wants/ likes to get themselves in the deep pain when they "don't have to"? It's only intuitive for human to avoid "pain", it's self protective nature. Yet, if that person has been there, has experienced it, he/ she can connect with your feelings immediately. He/ she may not even need to say one comforting word, but just be there and shed tears with you and you already feel better, like someone has taken part of the burden away.
I miss my dad. I miss him and regret for not spending more time with him. Yes, he has his new family, his new life but that doesn't change the fact that I am still his blood related daughter. I feel so stupid now that I look back all the worries that prevented me from seeing him more, for caring for him more. At the end of the day, what matters? Other people's feelings? Other people's view? All I wish now is to be there for his last breathe, for his last few minutes on earth that I was there with him. To be there to say a last prayer with him, to hold his hand, to kiss him good-bye.
