Thought for the Day

Have you thought about the things/ people that matter the most to you?
Have you thought about how much time you spend doing those important things or time with those important people?

What do you think is least important in your life?
How much time do you spend doing those "least important" things?

How much time do you spend watching TV, playing video games?
How much time do you spend with your family? (i.e. spouse, parents, children)

Children Learn What They Live

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn to respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

-- by Dorothy Law Nolte

Princess Emma and Prince Jack Jack Part II

Tuesday nights, Emma has ballet lessons and usually Mommy will take Emma to the ballet lesson and then go grocery shopping in the meantime.
Mommy took Prince Jack Jack along once, thinking he might like some alone time with Mommy. It turned out that Prince Jack Jack wouldn't leave the ballet studio and had to stand at the door watching other kids take ballet lessons. He would immitate their moves and keep knocking on the door asking the teacher to let him in. After that exhausting experience, mommy learnt her lesson and keeps Prince Jack Jack at home with King Daddy. On Tuesday night, while mommy was out with Emma, Prince Jack Jack was at home with King Daddy and had a real bad accident. Prince Jack Jack forgot that mommy was out with Emma, so he tried looking everywhere for mommy. Climbed up the stairs desperately and ... slipped ... bit his tonge and scraped his knees. Luckily he didn't fall all the way down the steep staircase but King daddy said the bleeding on his tongue took a long time to stop. The day after that, whenver Prince Jack Jack eats, his tongue would start bleeding again. Of course after that traumatic experience, Prince Jack Jack wakes up 1-2 times at night. On top of that, mommy took Emma out for a walk on Wednesday night without him... another traumatic experience... Prince Jack Jack is just going nuts at night.
Mommy is so exhausted from waking up at night, so at 3:30am Thursday, mommy couldn't help but let out on Prince Jack Jack telling him how tired she was and he needed to let her go back to sleep.
Prince Jack Jack, usually screams and cries and kicks when things don't go his way and when mommy "sounds mean". But this time, he just kept quiet, crawled up slowly onto mommy and rub his face on mommy's cheek. Hugged mommy really tight and fell asleep on mommy.
Mommy felt sooooo guilty, thinking "he probably will not hug me like this very soon. And so I have to wake up but this is my quality time with my precious prince. This is our own private time together"...

Princess Emma and Prince Jack Jack

First, let's start with Princess Emma.

Princess Emma likes to talk. Whenever mommy asks her to stop talking for a minute, she'd stop for barely one second and start talking again. When mommy doesn't respond, Emma keeps asking "Mommy? Mommy? are you listening? Mommy? Mommy?....M...." until mommy gives in. Princess Emma can talk consecutively without break for at least 15 minutes. Then maybe a sip of water and start all over again. What she talks about? "what's that sign we just passed?", "I love princesses and I wish I can be one", "When can we go to Wonderland again?", "what's for dinner tonight?", "why can't I eat noodles every night?", "can I go to Chloe's house?", "you know I really like that skirt of yours, can you keep it for me?".... YES, 90% of her "talking" is asking mommy questions. It's irritating enough when mommy is driving in afternoon peak hour traffic trying to weave through the traffic quickly to get home and make dinner, it's even worse when Jack Jack is around because Princess Emma's talking becomes "Mommy, Jack Jack took my toy without asking!", "mommy, Jack Jack hits me", "mommy, Jack Jack pushed me", "mommy, Jack Jack is climbing up the stairs"....etc. What is mommy doing at the same time? Mommy is trying to cook, wash dishes, do laundry, bath Jack Jack...etc. Mixed in with Emma's "inquiries" and "complaints" is Prince Jack Jack's screaming, crying, and hanging on mommy's leg.

So yesterday, after dinner, mommy suddenly had an idea. Mommy finished washing dishes, grab Princess Emma and went out for a walk. Yes, leaving behind Prince Jack Jack, whose screaming and crying broke mommy's heart but mommy left with Princess Emma anyway.

It was a 20min walk (or less), mommy devoted 100% attention to listening to Princess Emma and suddenly she realised Princess Emma is telling her what happened at school. They had a magician came in to entertain the kids, Princess Emma told her all the little details about the magician's tricks... and for the FIRST TIME asked mommy, "so mommy, how was your day? what did you do at work today?" It turned out to be a TWO-WAY conversation, not just "one-way talking, you answer me". Mommy felt so guilty about leaving Prince Jack Jack behind (with King Daddy) but it was good quality time with Princess Emma.



What happened with Prince Jack Jack?... to be continued....

Mid-Life Crisis

I have been contemplating if I should write about this. It sounds really silly yet I think everyone (if not every women/ every mom) goes through this at some point in their lives. And so I am 32, yup, no secret. I am 32 , married, a working mom of two kids ages 2 and 5. I wake up, repeat the same old routine each day. Have the same (or at least look almost the same) hair style for the last 3 years, wear the same clothes/ same style of clothes for the past decade (still can wear some clothes bought back from early university years, yup no kidding)... all of a sudden I start to wonder, what's more in life? is this it?

Starting with one single thought, then a chain of events happened.
1. I started cleaning out my closet and determined to give away "older" clothes even the ones in perfect condition or haven't been worn that much.
2. I chopped off my long hair and perm it!! Now hold your imagination... it is not that "oriental old lady cauliflower hair style" you are thinking of. It's more a Bob hair style.
3. Went for a facial. (I haven't gone for at least 2 years and the package coupon of 13 sessions I bought from year 2003 still has 6 sessions left)
4. Went into a shopping spree phase for the past 2 weeks. Went downtown to shop on Queen W (which I haven't done in the past 5 years). Went and bought a new make-up set (which I haven't done in the past 3 years)
5. Signed up for a ladies only Boot Camp

Conclusion: I am convinced I am going through what is known as "Mid-life crisis"

Results:
1. Everyone likes my new hair style (which makes me like it. I didn't like at all at first)
2. Everyone thinks I look better and start asking me what I did. (just people from work though, my hubby doesn't seem to notice)
3. I feel better about myself.
4. Nearly broke from all the spending.
5. Have some insightful thinking.

I think I am done with my "mid-life crisis make-over", although my girl friend told me "the shopping and the make over is never done!!!", at least I feel like I am done for now. I don't think it is all the "things" I bought that make me happier. I think it is the "time" I spent for myself and on my own that makes me feel better. When I am out shopping or doing my own things, I missed my kids and wonder how my hubby manages with them. I still cannot stop myself from getting things for my kids, especially for my beautiful daughter, when I shop. Yet, I am glad I did go out. Then I found out:
1. My hubby does very well without me
2. My kids can survive (at least for a short while) without me
3. When I do see them again I am less grumpy and tend to think more rationally when they throw a fit.
4. Found out more about my girl friends and their lives, which puts me back into perspective that everyone goes through sort of the same problems in life, not just me and I am doing not too bad.
5. I can still look pretty.
6. I must get over this Mid-life crisis and the crazy shopping phase before I get totally broke and my hubby finds out how much I spent!!!
7. Life is still good.

Friends

John Chrysostom's insights on the value of friends: “Such is friendship, that through it we love places and seasons; for as . . . flowers drop their sweet leaves on the ground around them, so friends impart favor even to the places where they dwell. With friends even poverty is pleasant. . . . It would be better for us that the sun were exhausted than that we should be without friends.”

I was going out with my girlfriends last weekend. Counting our fingers... we have known each other for almost 2 decades!! We don't see each other much, we don't even talk much but when we met up, it was like old days all over again. We went shopping, and we would pick out clothes for each other saying "that's your style"... we seem to know each other better than we know ourselves.

"A friend is the first person who comes in when the whole world has gone out."... this is so true. I am so blessed to have such good friends.

Life, Love, Chocolate

This is what I read today and found it a very good reminder:
"It was the morning of his ninth wedding anniversary. Not having a lot of money, the writer ran out to get his wife, Heidi, their favorite French pastry—pain au chocolat. After sprinting several miles, he arrived home, exhausted, to find her in the kitchen just pulling a chocolate-filled croissant out of the oven. It was pain au chocolat.
That husband, Jeff, compared his life with Heidi to the lives of the people in O. Henry’s short story “Gift of the Magi.” It tells of a man who sold his lone possession of value—a pocket watch—to buy hair combs for his wife, who had sold her long, beautiful hair to buy a gold chain for his watch."

Life, love, and chocolate taste better when shared with others!! Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up with tedious daily routine. Relationships become dull and life becomes dull too. But let us not forget how to love.