Love, Hate, Death

I used to love reading love stories, especially the ones with happy endings. As I grow up, reality hits and I start to think "love stories" remain stories, it doesn't happen in real life and I stop reading them.

Have you ever love someone so much that you think you'd do anything for him/ her? Then one day, you realise the person whom you trust and love so much turns out to be a hypocrite. He/she actually uses your trust and love to hurt you. What do you do? Disappointments, frustrations, and hatred slowly starts to boil up. You run away from that person as far as you could and hope you'd never see or have to talk to him/her again. And you wonder, will I ever be able to stop hating that person? Will I ever be able to forgive that person? Slowly, you start to forget or seem to forget about this person, you move on with life. Maybe, just maybe, I will be able to forgive that person one day, time cures everything.

One day, you get a phone call, you hear the news that the person whom you loved and hate has leukemia, your hands start shaking, the palm of you hands start sweating, tears start rolling down your cheeks... and you wonder, do I actually still love that person? Scenes of the past comes flashing before your eyes so vividly, it's just like yesterday. How could it be? It has been years!! How can I still remember so much, how can the feelings still be so real? Your mind races through many thoughts, your heart is aching with mixed feelings. I must go and see that person now before it's too late! Whatever happened, it's in the past, if I don't see that person now I may regret for life.... but does it mean I forgive that person? Painful scenes flashes before your eyes, how I can I forget? The pain is still so real and deep inside my heart.

On the day you see that person again after that many years, you can hear yourself say "Hello, how are you?" Who's that voice so calm and cold, you wonder, is that my own voice? You take a good look at that person, once black hair has turned completely grey, once strong and broad body has withered into think weak body in a wheel chair. Your heart softened but your head tells you "don't give in, don't fall for it again". You hear that person asks, "where are your kids? I was looking forward to seeing them." Your heart aches some more, is this how I take revenge? "They are somewhere else, I don't think it's suitable for them to come to hospital, they are still so young afterall". You see disappointment and sadness quickly flashes by his eyes. Is this how it's going to end? Will this be the last time I see this person? If it weren't for the two strangers sitting close to that person, you'd have probably screamed "I forgive you, I still love you, you still hold an important place in my heart, even after all that you have done... I still love you". Of course, it didn't happen, you hear youself say "I know you don't believe but I will still pray for you... if you don't mind", this time with a softer tone.

That might be the last time you see that person, or maybe you'll still have anothe chance to see that person, who knows. Some time later, you heard someone telling you that the person's cancer has resided after chemo treatments. You felt relieved and keep praying, this time not about forgiving this person,